Old Journal Excerpts

Here's some excerpts from a journal I kept while in med school:

"Most of the things we do in medicine would earn us a ticket into society's penal system if done outside the title of "M.D." We mutilate corpses, we place our fingers in the orifices of the opposite sex, we play with poop, dip urine, stab people in linear manners and then procede to rip out their intestines. We ask our patients to bend over, roll over, cough, spit, swallow, and any other activity of kinsesis humanly possible. We probe the surface and the fundus of the soul from "Hi, how are you?" to "Are you suicidal?" Then we hang up our coats, warm up our meal, and go to our home as if our day had had no more excitement than a coffee spill on the cubicle desk."

"Today, I found Mr. E sitting in his bed, his pale yellow standard issue VA gown barely covering his otherwise naked body. His face was covered in stubble and his voice was stubbly as well, the kind of voice produced after years of smoking. His primary diagnosis was COPD/CHF exacerbation. I suspect his secondary diagnosis was hard-knocks and loneliness."

"I went to check on Mr. G, my 86yo patient after my pager beeped. The covers of the call room bed were still warm and my eyes almost refused to be roused from slumber long enough to gaze at Mr. G's O2 sats. 60% on the vent. 30 minutes later I was presenting to the attending. "Are you sure Mr. G's sats are 60%?" Though my eyes were barely open, they were open enough to notice the 60 on the monitor. "No, Mr. G's sats are 0%." I started to argue. I had read the sat correctly. Then I paused and thought. 0%. 0% equals nothing, no breath, no oxygen, no life. The attending meant that Mr. G was no more-just a zero. My mouth began to form an "O" as I thought about the unsensitive manner in which my attending had informed me of Mr.G's untimely expiration...."

Find the Light

This past weekend, sitting on the banks of Watauga Lake, I had the opportunity to reread through some old journal entries. I thought I'd share one I wrote while I was in Alaska:

The more I study missions, the less like the term "missions." We should all be on a mission every morning we awake. We should do so by not trying to be the light or by tryings to go somewhere, see someone, and "fix them." Rather, we should realize that all but the vilest of mankind have some light in them for God's goodness shines through each small act of generosity, each kind word spoken, and each moral act completed. Just as there are very few places in the world where complete darkness exists, I believe there are very few people in the world who don't demonstrate some sense of God's goodness.

It's a logical concept. He created them. Why would he not want them to shine? It is our job to let our light abrade their's so that such a small act of polishing their light, dimmed by the dull routine of the world, will cause their light to shine more brightly.

So then, our evangelism ceases to be a rote formula of select verses, possibly taken out of context and not as relevant to that person's situation, and becomes a natural effort of sharing our light with those with whom we come in contact. It's a light that emmenates through our work, our speech, our actions, our crises, and our very self.

John 1:9
Christ is the true light that gives light to man.

Easter Thought

An Easter thought from a doctor friend of mine:

http://achingforeden.blogspot.com/2009/04/balm.html

Almost Almost Almost

Langston Hughes once pondered what happened to a dream deferred. My dream, deferred for almost 5 years, is about to come true. On May 8, 2009, although you may never even call me by my name (which is not David Allen Coe), you can officially call me "doctor."

Sounds kinda funny:
Dr. Michele, Dr. Gourley, Dr. Michele Gourley, Michele M.D., Michele Gourley, M.D., Doctora Michele.....

Wow. The possibilities are endless. Nevermind the fact that I've sold my soul and unborn child to the loan company or that part of my job duties include waking up at 2am after going to bed at midnight or that female physicians are 3-4 times more likely to commit suicide and that doctors have one of the highest rates of divorce of any profession.

You can call me "Doctor."

Hehe.... This could be fun.

A Wordle!

I Wonder

I've had a lot of time to think lately. I've had a lot of time to ponder and wonder.

I wonder why adults always seem to frown and children always seem to smile.

I wonder why the Bible gives a global message of joy and peace while Christians dish out finite verses of oppression and guilt.

I wonder why we destroy beautiful soil to build ugly buildings.

I wonder why one year it's bad to tuck pants into boots and the next year it's bad to wear boots under pants.

I wonder why a career spent in a concert hall is considered less than a career spent in a cubicle.

I wonder why churches take up money in the name of Jesus to buy things that I doubt Jesus would promote in His name.

I wonder why these same churches are more concerned about what's going on inside a particular building than what's going on outside in the hearts of their community.

I wonder why people assume doing a good deed is the same as doing something good.

I wonder why four years spent learning to pencil-in bubbles is considered a better qualification than four years spent acting out what the bubble represents.

I wonder why people still consider two people living under the same roof "married" when they haven't shared in a meaningful conversation in years.

I wonder why women let themselves go after marraige.

I wonder at what point in life do people throw out the qualities of idealism, creativity, and undeserved joy.

I wonder at what point in life do people embrace the qualities of fatalism, despondency, and complaint.

I wonder why people from the U.S. feel the need to define "poor" from an economic standpoint.

I wonder why Christians feel unashamed to talk about "the poor people" in a country they've never visited.

I wonder why it's considered ok to indulge in a ridiculous amount of food at one time while abstaining from a ridiculous amount of alcohol at another.

I wonder why people associate pills and prescriptions with health.

I wonder if we even know what health is...what happiness is.

I wonder why worship isn't centered around communion or our schedules around worship.

I wonder why people focus on "shoulds and shouldn'ts" and "dos and don'ts" to correct behavior instead of on the reason that drives the behavior.

"We need a renaissance of wonder. We need to renew, in our hearts and in our souls, the deathless dream, the eternal poetry, the perennial sense that life is miracle and magic.” -E.M. Root

An Absolutely Delightful Song

Check out Lisa Hanningan's "I Don't Know."

Absolutely, light-hearted, nuances of marimba notes, nice lyrics kind of song.

And if you were at Starbucks recently, it was free!

A Walk Down Memory Lane

The other night, I was reading back through entries from this blog. I started it right as I entered medical school, and it's been fascinating to see how my perspective about medicine, missions, and me has evolved over the years.

In honor of my trip down memory lane, I leave you with about 20 something posts that are some of my favorites:

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2004/08/as-i-sat-on-dock-of-dr.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2004/09/stepping-up-on-soap-box-some.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2004/10/life-on-rocky-top.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2004/11/blog-on-vacation.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2004/11/whats-your-mp.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/01/another-outdoor-adventure-by-yours.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/02/sugar-to-gooey-mush.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/03/saturday-in-sneedville.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/03/earpieces-enchiladas-and-ideas.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/06/kingman-arizona.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/07/saludos-desde-smyrna.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/08/cooking-with-michele.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/09/these-birks-arent-made-for-walking.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/10/i-gave-in-to-quizzes.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2005/11/sometimes-ignorance-is-bliss.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2006/02/life-saver.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2006/05/everything-i-ever-needed-to-know.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2006/12/new-beginnings.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2007/06/hanging-up-shingle.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2007/07/throwaway.html

http://michelegourley.blogspot.com/2007/08/motion.html

Grow a Garden, Give to Your Community

Those with greener thumbs than mine tell me it's time to start thinking about this summer's garden.Wouldn't it be a great idea if our communities of faith could take the land and resources God has given us and us them to grow something for the people of our community?

In a nation suffering from an epidemic of poor health, it has been shown that a diet rich in fruits and vegetables improves our health, yet many people cannot afford to buy them. Spending time out in nature has been proven to help us both mentally and physically. And being unified in a common effort to glorify God never hurts either. :o)

I'm challenging you to challenge your churches, Bible study groups, etc.... to take a small plot of land, plant some seeds, and use the fruits (or vegetables) of your labor to help enrich the diet of those in your community who might not otherwise be able to afford them.So go, grow, and glorify God by giving back to your community!

PS: No pesticides or GM seeds please!

Superlatives

So I thought I'd have time to write. Then I went to Knoxville for a weekend and stayed a week. Ktown is like a black hole...only a good black...the kind that sucks you into wonderful times with lives transformed by a redeeming Savior. Anyways, in the midst of catching up on articles for the ET, I thought I'd leave you with a few "bests of the week" that I've encountered in the Orange Country.





1. Best Book to Read


"Sex God"


Despite the fact that the title makes it seem like it should be placed in the back corner of a video store and that the cover looks like it came straight from the sample strips at a paint store, this is one of the best books I've read so far. Rob Bell has produced some amazing videos and his book is no less of quality as he explores the relationship between sexuality and spirituality. He examines our society's multi-level lack of connectedness and how that affects our relationships with each other and our Savior.





2.Best Movie to Watch


La Vita E Bella


Not only will you have a chance to practice Italian (or discover that Italian is very similar to Spanish) and learn fun phrases like "Boungiorno Principesa," you'll also be treated to a heartwarming story that takes place during World War II.





3.Best thing to do on a Friday night


Jam with friends


You could make the sweet substance that goes well with English muffins, or you could grab a group of friends, a handful of instruments and a few random pieces of music and let the fun begin. I suggest doing this behind closed doors unless you have crutches or some other disability which might justify a novice attempt at panhandling on the streets of the nearest medium-sized city.

(If none of those options sound appealing, hug your favorite fish. Cheers!)

Picking and Grinning

So Santa gave me a mandolin for Christmas. I think it was as great of an idea as giving me a toy drumset for my 3rd birthday. Needless to say, I'm adding yet another instrument to my arsenal of noise-making objects only this one would definitely be a more feasible option should I ever decide to follow through with previous plans to become a street musician (though I once saw a guy in Asheville playing drumset on the street...though I'm never surprised by anything I see in Asheville...it's Asheville).

Maybe I'll post some of my very rudimentary yet entertaining attempts at playing it on this website. Maybe I should join a different church so I would have an outlet for my new found hobby (or perhaps visit a nursing home...it would fall on deaf ears anyways, right?)

Maybe I should stick to singing in the shower and to learning how to be a doctor. We'll see.

One Year

I have one year without plans, without commitments, without funding.

I have no idea what to do with it.

I wonder what would happen if I gave a year of my life to God, completely open to going and doing whatever the Spirit led me to do.

I wonder where I'd get the money to do something like that or where I'd go.

I wonder what it would be like to travel around only staying with friends or friends of friends.

I could make it to: most of the US, almost all of Latin America, England, France, Greece, Jordan, several countries in Africa, China, Australia, and New Zealand for starters.

I'd better decide soon.

That year's fast approaching...

Towers

I recently read about a tower in Dubai that upon completion, will be over 2000 feet in height, over 1,000 feet taller than any previously-built skyscraper. When I read this, I couldn't help but think of a similar middle-eastern tower built in the days before Christ.

In Genesis 11, the Bible never tells us how tall the Tower of Babel was. It only mentions the following:

"Then they said, 'Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.'"

The Tower of Babel, Pieter Brueghel the Elder, 1563

Hmm. So why is it that God permits the same type of construction of towers today that was not permitted at that time? Was the Tower of Babel of such magnitude that it dwarfed modern syscrapers? It appears that the motives of the former tower builders were the same of many modern-day architects of such behemoths of buildings. Hmm..

A Sign?

I travel like Rolf Potts !
You are a travel legend in the making, with a sense of adventure that will lead to hundreds of fascinating stories. Locals all over the world will give you special nicknames, and almost all of them will be complimentary.
What type of traveler are you? Take BootsnAll's Travel Quiz to find out.

Or just a sign I read about traveling too much?

Bored

Over 25% of American children watch 4+ hours of TV a day. The past week, I've been one of those. Today I had great intentions of trying to implement an "on crutches" workout but an allergic reaction to the pain meds the doctor gave me left me red, blotchy, itchy, and sedated on Benadryl for most of the day instead.

Perhaps tomorrow. I'm definitely not a couch potato. I can't wait to start an exercise routine again. To move, to do something, I feel so stagnant and stuck in more ways than physically. Ugh..

They say that being socially isolated is bad for your health. I want to be healthy again. :o)

One day at a time...

“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.” -Robert Louis Stevenson

If you're ever in Johnson City on Tuesday night, I recommend stopping by Hopwood on Milligan's campus. Here's a clip from a few weeks ago (my camera was in my purse hence no video). I have no idea who is singing.

Quote of the Day: "Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est."

A Resurrection!

Ha! I betcha thought I'd never post here again. Of course, I thought I'd never have another ankle surgery again, yet here I am, my left err. right ankle propped up on some pillows and my leg stilled stained a suspicious Smurfette blue from the disinfectant applied before surgery.

So in honor of such an unexpected change, I've decided to post to this blog again.

My first news/picture/random quote? The following.

A. I've pulled out of the match. I'm not going to residency next year.

B.

C. "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." -Alice in Wonderland

That's all for now!