Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss

I thought I'd share a humorous anecdote that happened to me this week. :o)

The amount of knowledge I've accumulated over the past semester alone, not to mention the past year and a half, is astounding. My fellow classmates and I have literally assimilated hundreds of pages of medical facts into the small confines of our brains. Unfortunately, this massive among of knowledge combined with my creative imagination can lead to some interesting situations.

Sunday morning I was rushing around the apartment trying to get ready for church when I noticed a small puddle of orange-colored liquid resting on my countertop. Running late, I didn't worry too much about it and headed out the door, telling myself that I would clean it up when I returned that evening from studying and church. The day passed ,and I forgot all about the small orange puddle. That night as I was looking through the cabinet to see what I could make to take for Monday's lunch, I noticed the puddle had increased in size. My gaze centered on the cabinet above the orange goo. Drops. Big drops of orange liquid were hanging from the bottom of the cabinet. I quickly opened the door and beheld the site of two large cans of Mandarin oranges, damaged, and dripping orange liquid. Any normal person would have thought, I guess I should probably throw those cans away since they're spoiled. Being the nerd that I am and having spent half the afternoon studying Micro, my first thought was, Clostridium botulinum, the most potent neurotoxin and frequent contaminant of spoiled cans of food. Our professors had mentioned that we should avoid bulging cans because they probably contained the toxin of this harmful bacteria. However, no one had ever mentioned what to do if the bulging cans sprung a leak, potentially contaminating your entire kitchen with Clostridium botulinum. I immediately threw the cans in a bag which was subsequently placed in the dumpster outside. But what to do with the gooey, orange mess that had spread all over the cabinet shelf and on to the counter below? And what about the other cans in my cabinet that now sat in a puddle of orange goo? I could just envision the following day's headline in the local paper: "Medical student remains in serious condition after ingesting foodstuffs that had been accidently contaminated with C. botulinum." I had to do something.
Being the resourceful person that I am, I decided to look in the phone book. After some thought and realizing it probably wasn't necessary to call the fire department nor the FBI, I decided to call Poison Control. I knew I hadn't been poisoned, but there was a potential poison sitting in my kitchen so that should count, right? The poison control center didn't know what to do with my strange request. They had a plethora of information regarding those who had ingested C. botulinum toxin; however, they were helpless in recommending clean up procedures for a possible C. botulinum spill. They kindly referred me to the CDC's hotline. Feeling somewhat sheepish for calling the CDC since I wasn't reporting an outbreak of Ebola or bird-flu, I dialed the number. Of course, the CDC didn't know what to do with my request either so they referred me to their "information specialist" ie the person who can hopefully Google the request while in the meantime keeping the caller pacified. Our conversation went something like this:

"Hi, I have a somewhat odd question. I think I had a C. botulinum spill in my kitchen and I'm wondering what I need to do to clean it up."

"Ok, give me just a minute."

(Pause)

"So you said it was on your countertop? Do you know what botulism is and how it's spread?"

Do I know what botulism is and how it's spread? Are you kidding me? Of course I know what it is. It's only the result of being infected with the most potent neurotoxin known to man and only causes flaccid paralysis leading to death. - I thought. "Yes, I know what botulism is. That's why I am a little concerned."

(More holding)

"Ummm....Well, I'm sorry. I can't really help you. Maybe you could just put some Windex on it or something."

Not satisfied with her answer, I decided to do my own Googling which led me to the conclusion that bleach would probably be a good means to disinfect the toxic sludge on my countertop and shelves. After submersing the goo in full-strength bleach for a quarter of an hour, I was convinced that I had probably killed any Gram-positive critters filled with toxin.

The next day, wanting to assure myself that all was well, I asked one of my Micro professors about what one should do should one of those "bulging cans" bulge too far and leak its contents everywhere. She promptly and nonchalantly replied, "Ah...it's no big deal. Just pour some bleach on the stuff. Bleach kills everything."

So my Sunday night crisis actually turned out to be not that big of a deal. Sometimes it's better not to know all the details, but I suppose "all's well that ends well" as the old saying goes. At least I correctly answered all questions about C. botulinum on my Micro test today.