(before reading see disclaimer at bottom)
Current color: Fuschia
Current song: Start the Commotion
Current mood: Goofball
Seeing as how I'm in a half silly/giddy mood (too much time on the elliptical can do that), I thought I'd address the serious subject of MP. If you don't know what MP stands for you're:
a. too young
b. not around enough little old ladies at church
c. not eligible anymore
Calculating one's MP is a time consuming and complicated process involving at least two years of upper level math or a crash course in statistics. However, knowing one's MP is helpful with things such as determining the size of an apartment to rent, how many fluffy white cats one should buy, or what church one should attend. This being said, I've calculated my MP to be -2 (0 being neutral, neither advantageous nor disadvantageous). Many factors such as the ones below were taken into consideration.
1.Location. This is a very important factor when calculating MP. In fact, my MP dropped two points when I moved to Johnson City (not so many fish in the sea to speak). Where you eventually want to live also is a factor. Since I want to move to a hut in the middle of Central America, my MP dropped to -4. If you live in Knoxville add 3 to your MP.
2. Career. Another important consideration. Since women in med. school is viewed differently by different people, it is a neutral factor in the calculation of my MP. +/-5
3.Personality. Another one of the Big 3 in calculating MP. If you're charming, witty, and intelligent such as myself then add 6. If people would rather play with the cardboard box their PlayStation came in than spend an hour with you, then subtract 4.
4.Christian. A big player in my book. +20
5. Hobbies. The saying "opposites attract" isn't entirely true. +1 for every interesting thing about you (yes collecting pickle jars counts).
6. Personal Hygiene. Some might title this "attractiveness" but in order to not sound more shallow than I already am, I'm focusing on hygiene instead. Partake in daily showering and grooming habits? +2 Too much perfume or makeup? -2
7.Health. You gotta live long enough to realize your MP (aka don't keel over from eating too many McCardboard burgers). Committed to keeping fit? +1
8. Español. Since our nation is fast becoming an amalgam of Hispanics and "Americans," knowing another language is helpful and also comes in handy if you plan on moving to a hut in the middle of Central America. +1 if you like to speak other languages. -1 if your friends groan because you insist on talking to them as if they understood every language you do.
9.Puppies and/or borrowed babies. Since some of my friends seems to think that having these items while out in public enhances your MP, add 2 if you utilize these items to attract others.
10. Age. I suppose I haven't quite reached old-fogeydom yet. Not an old fogey? +3
Simple enough, eh? Not quite. Confounding factors of place and date of birth, genetic anomalies, pronuncionation of the plural form of "you," if you're featured on Mer's "e-harmony" blog, and whether or not the dog you owned when you were 5 liked tomato soup must all be taken into consideration. This leads me to have a score of -2. Bring on the fluffy white cats and hardwood floors! ;o)
What's Your MP?
Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for the writings of this blog or anything taken seriously from it. She attributes all thoughts and poor attempts at humor to too much caffeine, endorphins, and "Frank" No white cats were mistreated in the writing of this blog.
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6 comments:
Oh dear, this is funny.
According to this set of standards, here's my calculation.
1) Since I live in Knoxville, its up to +3. I'm going to give myself a 0 for future location, because I could move just about anywhere in the world and have something to do. /3
2) I'm not a stereotypical engineer and have a few different skill sets to do careers in things other than engineering. For this I rate me +4. /7
3) For personality, I'm a pretty likeable person and can get along with just about anyone. I'm usually pretty witty and the last IQ test I took (the Standford Binet Intelligence Scales back my senior year in college) gave me a rating of 152. So I'll also give a +6. /13
4) Christian +20 /33
5) I have three things that I consider serious hobbies so +3 /36
6) For personal hygiene I can only give myself a +1. Mainly because I'm not clean shavin' all the time. /37
7) Health. I try to do at least something vigorous for an hour 3 times a week. All the other Acuffs are about my height and 225+ lbs. I try to keep around 175. For this, I'll give a 0 because I'm not doing bad, but I think I can do better. /37
8) Spanish is my best (by far), but because of the situtation in my lab, I've had to learn a little bit of French, Hindi, Bengali, Koshur and Mandarin. My mission trip to Brazil made me learn a little Portuguese. Still this all adds up to +1. /38
9) HAHAHA! I discovered this while watching Laura's (Bailey at the time) dogs. It wasn't my intention to use them, so for that, I'll give a 0. /38
10) I still haven't reached 30 (the age aproaching old fogeydom), but I've passed 25, so for this, I must give a +2. /40
Ok, those other factors are left up to your "FM" (Future Mate) to decide.
So if you think I'm being too confident of myself and should have scored lower, let me know. If you think I should have scored higher, let me know.
Come on peeps, do your calculation. I swear it only takes like 15 minutes of your time.
On a side note totally unrelated to MP. On Sunday I had lunch with Suzanne Young (her and her husband Dr. Bill lived in Honduras for a few years and came back to the states in '95) at Casa Blanca. She saw me at church and invited me to a lunch they had already planned because she knew it would be something I'd be interested in. This year, she'll probably be assemblying an "All-Star" (its got to be small) Honduras team. Instead of going to Baxter, they'll be going to Valle de los Ángeles to assist Carlos with a new church. Dr. Bill is down there now doing a feasability report. She was going to email me, so it was cool that I saw her at church. If this is indeed what they decide to do, I'll probably be in Honduras this summer for a little while.
And on another Honduran note...
Mike Buckley and Dr. Fred Gilliam talked on Saturday about getting a joint group from Lipscomb and UT together in May to go down to Honduras.
Well, I may be in Honduras in June or July in Catacamas if things work out the way I think they should but not in May because of classes here. I'm also thinking about taking another random road trip around Central America to visit friends in
PS:gringas automatically have an increase in MP when in Latin America. ;o) (and Nicoll, there are more guys down there named "Jesus" than there are here in the US)
Michelle-
I am throwing all coolness aside- even though I am 25 years old I have no idea what MP stands for. AS I figure it, I am about -10... I think. It's hard to tell since I'm not sure what that means...
I assume it's not something I would see on the bathroom walls... cause I've read all those and they don't mention MP anything.
Chara
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