12.30.2004

It's a Small World

The link to my med. school pics wasn't working well so I decided to post a few below.

On another note, I'm realizing that I still have the gift (or curse as it may be) of not being able to go anywhere without running into someone I know. It was bad enough in high school that one of my friends and I had a game to see who would encounter the most previously-known people on our outing. Each encounter was worth a point, and the person with the most points won. Today was no different. I was at Opry Mills mall hanging out with a friend from UT. Not expecting to know anyone in the vast sea of bargain hunters, not only did I run across two old friends from UT, but I also saw a couple I knew from Honduras who were vacationing in the US. What are the odds of that? It appears that my game has reached an international level. I suppose it's a small world after all.

Michele +4
everyone else ???

It's a Party!


The Saturday before Finals Week, some of my Rural Track comrades and I took a study break and celebrated the end of the semester with a little shindig at my place. It was a nice litte respite complete with homemade salsa, turtle brownies, and Kristen's grandmother's Christmas tree cheese spreader.

Cadaver Ball Pics

All Dressed Up with Somewhere to Go

Loan, me, Candace, and Kelly wait at Cheddars to be seated. Who said med. school girls were boring, geeky nerds?

Before Cadaver Ball at Cheddars


See, we med. students don't always wear scrubs and white coats and study all the time. Occasionally we find an excuse to don something a little more "festive" and go out and have a good time roasting the Quillen faculty and attempting to convince Loan to dance.


12.25.2004

Everyone Has a Story to Tell

My pet cow Angela


Since everyone abhors Christmas trees, Santa Claus, and reindeer, I thought I'd start a new tradition of having a "Christmas cow" (hey it has to be halfway religious since baby Jesus was born in a stable). Just kidding. I'll get to the meaning of this picture in a minute.
I hope you all are enjoying this wonderful Christmas day. To me it's actually more like the day after Christmas since our big Christmas celebration is on Christmas Eve. Every December 24th my dad's side of the family gathers to eat lots of food, enjoy each other's company, and to celebrate Christmas. When I was younger, this time symbolized a time to sit at the "little kids" table at dinner, out of harm's way and away from anything breakable. It also was a time to fight over who got to play "Santa" and hand out presents and a time to show off our wonderful piano skills by plunking out "Jolly Old St.Nicholas" 5 million times on the ancient, out-of-tune piano that sat in my grandparents' living room. After all was said and done, my dad's four siblings, seven cousins, and I returned to our respective homes to sleep, our heads filled with dreams of snow and Santa.
This Christmas Eve, my grandparents' house being nothing but a pile of rubble, we gathered at my aunt's to celebrate Christmas. Though much older and weaned from my piano plunking, I was still banished to the "little kids" table for dinner along with my seven cousins. Having enough stuff, my focus has shifted from what's under the tree to the people sitting around it. One of the things I like most about Christmas (Eve), is being able to catch up on the lives of my relatives and all the stories that are swapped of my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and the "Good Ole Days." Last night was no different. Being an avid scrapbooker, my aunt had recently scrapbooked our family history, starting with my great-grandparents and ending with her childhood. I listened with interest as each page of pictures evoked stories of my grandfather and grandmother and their children. Each story brought the pictures to life, and I realized that these stories contribute to who I am today. The pictures of the herd of cows my grandparents owned standing in snow and the fish tale-like stories of how my dad and his siblings had to "go out and chop the foot-thick ice off the pond in 50 below temperatures" are the reason for the picture shown above of my pet cow (a great-granddaughter of the frost-covered cows in the picture) and me. So as we sat around the fake-log fire sipping hot apple cider and reminiscing, I learned that each person has a story to share and each picture has a story and it is those stories that define who we are today. If you get a chance, grab a mug of cider, sit down, grab some old photos, and take time to swap stories. Maybe if med school doesn't work out, I'll just go around to nursing homes and homeless shelters and listen to stories.
Anyways, I'm off to try out my new "kicks" and burn some Christmas calories on the treadmill downstairs. Have a Merry Christmas!!!

12.18.2004

An Ode to My First Patient

I've officially finished my first semester of med. school and what a semester it has been! It has been the most demanding 4 months of my life: mentally, physically, and emotionally. I've entered a world that few, if I even, understand. A world that deals with the human body and embraces the workings of the soul. I would sum it up in a few short words, but I can't. The next few days will be spent in my own attempt at trying to assimilate and digest all that my mind and body have consumed since that first week of school in August.
The following was read by one of my lab partners at our cadaver memorial service honoring "Frank," my first patient. I couldn't have expressed it any better. Enjoy the insight into my new life and what I've experienced:

Two Lives (an ode to Frank)

by Andrew J. Lipman

Sometimes we wanted to know your name, but we gave you one.

I guess that means that you almost had two identities, really two lives:
One with your family, the other with your students.
Many will want to speak about your tremendous gift--and it is.
Others will want to extol the virtues of studying the human body.
I want to share with you some of my transgressions.
I would be lying if I said I always came to class...
Lying if I said at all times I kept you covered to protect your dignity...
Remiss if I did not mention that you made me nervous sometimes,
especially at the beginning of our relationship...

Did I sometimes fail to respect you as much as I should have? yes...
Was I ever angry with you? yes... Sometimes you hid things from me.
My teachers call that missing points on tests.

I call it not paying attention to you.
But, despite these transgressions, you won.
You did what you set out to do when you gave me your body.
William Carlos Williams said that
"in surgery, man sees what God never meant him to see."

His point is that very few of us have such a privilege.
I think it's the same with anatomy. Now, I can't go back.
I will always know what a human heart looks like. It's almost reflexive:

someone says an anatomic term and I can close my eyes and see it--in fact, I see yours.
But I guess I'm most amazed by your total trust in strangers.
There are so few examples of this trust to guide us anymore.

I think it would be presumptuous to think you trusted me, personally, because I could have been anyone.
Instead, you gave completely of yourself to all,
in hopes of teaching us a lesson about trust.

You have set a precedent with me. I've had my first intense relationship with a patient.
And that was you.

12.16.2004

Deep Thoughts with Michele

I gave you a warning with the title; this may be a long one but one I've been wanting to write for awhile...

I'll admit it. I usually have trouble paying attention in church. After sitting for hours in class listening to professors throughout the week, it's hard for my mind not to make the same association with the preacher in the pulpit and zone out after a few minutes. However, a few Sundays ago, I think God must have told the preacher to script a sermon especially for me. The sermon was entitled, "According to Mark: Jesus' Preparation" Now I don't know about you , but I guess I never actually sat down and thought that Jesus would ever have to prepare for his minstry. He was God's son; therefore, I suppose the assumption was made on my part that he knew everything and had everything he needed to do everything. Yet, as was pointed out in the sermon, Christ "learned obedience" and "grew in wisdom". If you think about it, God's son was on earth for 30 years doing nothing that we would consider significant had it been any other person (how many of us give accolades to our local furniture repairman?) for 3 years of service. On the other hand, Christ spent 30 years preparing himself for his purpose here on earth.


I have to confess, I've missed this point the past few months ie in order to do that which is God's purpose for us we have to under go the necessary preparation that will equip us for that purpose. Behind me sits my marimba, collecting dust from little use. I'll admit; at one time I was good at playing the marimba and on my way to performing at a professional level. I'll also admit that this didn't come by accident or "great talent". I would spend hours upon hours in the practice room working on a line of music for an audition or perfecting three or four notes until they conveyed that which I heard in my mind. I still know all of those songs and the nuances I worked so hard to perfect, but you would be sorely disappointed if I were to perform those same works for you today. It's not that I don't know the music; it's that I haven't spent any time practicing lately. It takes lots of preparation to perfect the final product, and constant practice to maintain that which we have learned.
In having the strong desire and vision to fulfill that which God has placed before me, I have forgotten the amount of preparation that must come beforehand. In trying to find my way out of the ill-fitting sweater (see previous post from a long time ago ;-)), I have whined and complained about the very door God has opened for me. And in looking back and reflecting on my first semester of medical school, I realize that God doesn't always supply us with ease and contentment. Rather, he puts us through that which will prepare us, not sparing his son of 40 days in the wilderness, Ezekiel of the death of his wife, or Job of everything he had. I have come to realize that striving to be a perfect Christian is not striving to be a perfect person. Instead it is striving to be completely in tune with God's will and saying "here am I" to every situation He places before you and being open to whatever discipline and preparation he requires of you.

That being said, I can now say that I officially survived my first semester of medical school (ok tomorrow after I say goodbye to Frank and take my Anatomy shelf). I didn't fail out, not even close, and I'm looking foward to the next two weeks of doing anything but medicine. I've learned more than I ever knew, and I'm looking foward to what next semester holds. No sad, sad violins and no why me's--only joyful obedience in pursuing that which is God's purpose (you guys feel free to hold me to that).

12.14.2004

Where in the World am I?

Or should I say will be? I've been thinking about this upcoming summer alot lately (yes I know I should be studying). It'll be my last free summer for quite some time and I'd like to take advantage of that. I could go back to Central America and do mission work, but then I could also do that for 2-3 months my 4th year when I actually know more about medicine and what I'm doing. I could also go to Nigeria for 3 weeks on a medical missions trip with Dr.Farrar and work at the hospital there. Then there's always the "backpacking Europe" trip I promised myself I'd do in college that I never did. I wouldn't mind seeing more of the world since it seems like each part I go to, God teaches me a new lesson about the people He's created.

Decisions, decisions....I was never good at making them.

Any suggestions or offers of companionship on my sojourn to wherever (the sky's the limit) would be greatly appreciated.

Back to studying. 1 final down (let's just say I kicked cadaver booty) and 2 to go!


12.08.2004

*Randomness*

So I lied a little and said I wasn't going to post. I'm sitting here in the computer lab at Stanton Gerber taking a study break. I guess it's a sign that you should go home and go to sleep after you walk out of the little X-Ray/MRI room in lab to find that there's no one there but you, the cadavers, and the freshly-cut cross sections. It freaked me out a little.
Christmas: so I decided to have a little shindig for my Rural Track friends this coming Saturday. It's really just an excuse for me to play Martha Stewart and go shopping for things to decorate my apartment with for Christmas. Let's just say I'm not allowed to go to Kmart by myself anymore. After an hour of purusing the aisles (I don't think I spelled puruse right), I left with half a hundred dollars worth of stuff (grant it, some of that was groceries). I personally don't have too much of a problem with Christmas as long as it's not stressful and people aren't fighting over materialistic things. I kinda like the holiday because it's an excuse for everyone to come together. People fly in from all over the country just to be around each other for this special day. I like seeing people I know; therefore, I like Christmas.
Quillen: I love Quillen. It's been a rough semester but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love the people here; everyone from the dean to the janitors all chip in to do their part. My classmates are wonderful; I don't know how I would have gotten by without them. Downside? Going to med school and moving to the middle of nowhere gives you the feeling that you've discombobulated yourself from your former life. You don't have time to visit your old friends and no one wants to come to the middle of hickville Tennessee (no offense NE Tennesseans) to visit you.
Cycling: My new hobby. It must be cool b/c Dr.Kwas the head honcho of Anatomy joins me regularly for cycling class.
Don't ever go on Saturday.
1. The guy who teaches it is a masochist and the whole class consists of sprints or a 7 minute "climb" up the steepest hill you've ever ridden.
2. He works out to weird music. I'm sorry but Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, 80's pop, and Indian chant music do not mix well for a spinning class.
11:30pm: Yeah, I think I'd better go study some more.

Feel free to comment away. Procrastination is a beautiful thing as long as you've already done your required studying.

"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got til it's gone. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot." -some 60's hippie chick and Counting Crows

12.06.2004

Look I'm Famous!

http://com.etsu.edu/default.asp?V_DOC_ID=1758

ok not really. I've come to the realization that the next two weeks are going to be as opposite of fun as possible. The key words are going to be stressed, studying, and sleeping (ok so maybe just the first two). Ahh, how I long for the days of undergrad when I could say "I have sooo much homework and studying to do for finals!" when really I could go catch the double feature at the drive-in two days before the exam, make 5am runs to Waffle house the morning of after staying up all night cramming, and still ace the class. Ain't gonna happen this time. Bye bye world until Dec 18th.

If you wanna talk to your over-stressed, under-relaxed med school nerd friend or think it'd be cool to hang out with her during the measly two weeks she gets for break, send her an email at michelegourley@yahoo.com or call her at 615-300-you know the rest...

I'm not checking my blog (or anyone's for that matter) until after exams so if you want to get in touch you're going to have to use the above mentioned methods or come see me in the least-visited town of Tennessee (JC) or Smyrna. Cheers and bask in your many hours of freedom of being an undergrad!

Time for class. Break's over.

Romans 12 and other inspiring thoughts that I'll write about when I get a chance.

12.01.2004

It's Their Own Fault

I wasn't planning on posting anymore until after finals, but in honor of AIDS Awareness Day and how I feel about it, I had to write a few lines. The title of the blog is often quoted by many when asked about the victims of AIDS. Since the epidemic began its spread through sinful acts, many, especially Christians, associate everyone affected by the disease as a blatant heathen, deserving of the consequence of AIDS. However, how do you pass that same judgement on a child born with AIDS, a woman who contracted AIDS through her unfaithful husband (the biggest risk factor is S. Africa is being a married woman), or a grandmother who now suffers from the disease by caring for her HIV positive daughter's sores? It's a travesty that we condemn more readily than we understand.
I'm sure many of you are thinking, "This will never affect me; why should I care?" Colin Powell states that AIDS is the world's "biggest weapon of mass destruction," and it has already lowered the life expectancy in many countries of Africa to less than 40 years of age. Much of the workforce in these countries will soon be wiped out, leaving countless orphans and a continent of instability and devastation.
Though rigorous and complex, one can provide treatment for an AIDS patient for a mere $150 a year. That's about 1% of the income of someone at the poverty line here in the United States. One percent. Those drugs could provide 10 more years of life to allow a father to raise his children or a mother to be a mother and not leave her 15 year old daughter an orphan and caretaker of the entire family. Think about it.

In the meantime, I urge you to visit the following websites and support the effort to stop this tragic epidemic.

http://www.theonecampaign.org

http://46664.tiscali.com

Hope you guys have a wonderful holiday season and don't ever forget how blessed you are.