Deep Thoughts with Michele

I gave you a warning with the title; this may be a long one but one I've been wanting to write for awhile...

I'll admit it. I usually have trouble paying attention in church. After sitting for hours in class listening to professors throughout the week, it's hard for my mind not to make the same association with the preacher in the pulpit and zone out after a few minutes. However, a few Sundays ago, I think God must have told the preacher to script a sermon especially for me. The sermon was entitled, "According to Mark: Jesus' Preparation" Now I don't know about you , but I guess I never actually sat down and thought that Jesus would ever have to prepare for his minstry. He was God's son; therefore, I suppose the assumption was made on my part that he knew everything and had everything he needed to do everything. Yet, as was pointed out in the sermon, Christ "learned obedience" and "grew in wisdom". If you think about it, God's son was on earth for 30 years doing nothing that we would consider significant had it been any other person (how many of us give accolades to our local furniture repairman?) for 3 years of service. On the other hand, Christ spent 30 years preparing himself for his purpose here on earth.

I have to confess, I've missed this point the past few months ie in order to do that which is God's purpose for us we have to under go the necessary preparation that will equip us for that purpose. Behind me sits my marimba, collecting dust from little use. I'll admit; at one time I was good at playing the marimba and on my way to performing at a professional level. I'll also admit that this didn't come by accident or "great talent". I would spend hours upon hours in the practice room working on a line of music for an audition or perfecting three or four notes until they conveyed that which I heard in my mind. I still know all of those songs and the nuances I worked so hard to perfect, but you would be sorely disappointed if I were to perform those same works for you today. It's not that I don't know the music; it's that I haven't spent any time practicing lately. It takes lots of preparation to perfect the final product, and constant practice to maintain that which we have learned.
In having the strong desire and vision to fulfill that which God has placed before me, I have forgotten the amount of preparation that must come beforehand. In trying to find my way out of the ill-fitting sweater (see previous post from a long time ago ;-)), I have whined and complained about the very door God has opened for me. And in looking back and reflecting on my first semester of medical school, I realize that God doesn't always supply us with ease and contentment. Rather, he puts us through that which will prepare us, not sparing his son of 40 days in the wilderness, Ezekiel of the death of his wife, or Job of everything he had. I have come to realize that striving to be a perfect Christian is not striving to be a perfect person. Instead it is striving to be completely in tune with God's will and saying "here am I" to every situation He places before you and being open to whatever discipline and preparation he requires of you.

That being said, I can now say that I officially survived my first semester of medical school (ok tomorrow after I say goodbye to Frank and take my Anatomy shelf). I didn't fail out, not even close, and I'm looking foward to the next two weeks of doing anything but medicine. I've learned more than I ever knew, and I'm looking foward to what next semester holds. No sad, sad violins and no why me's--only joyful obedience in pursuing that which is God's purpose (you guys feel free to hold me to that).