Health Freaks and Geeks

Thank goodness the gym finally opened up this week!!! It's been nice to start back into a regular exercise routine. I think half of the med. school was there when it opened on Monday (as if we don't see each other enough already). There are benefits to going to school with other people interested in health and in healing people. For the most part they all eat pretty healthy which I'm hoping will rub off on me and curb me of some bad eating habits I picked up in college and help me take off my freshman...err...college 15. I think Johnson City as a whole has got to be the most exercise crazy town I've ever lived in. People are always running around the campus and at the VA park and bike racks seem to abound.
I felt like I was in Central America last night. To put in some more service hours for my psych class I volunteered at a Christian-based free health care clinic near Kingsport, translating and shadowing the doctor. Half of our clientele were Hispanic and I had the cutest little 4yr old girl and her mother and siblings for patients. I felt like I was back at Clinic Amicus running a typical day with one of the brigade docs and letting my patients know that God loves them. I'm so glad I have the blessing and ability to be able to serve in that way, though I think I benefitted from the experience more than my clients did.
Well, I should probably appreciating this time and be sleeping instead of typing to myself. Buenas noches!!!

Random Post Test Thoughts

I made it through my second test-ok my first HDBG test which stands for an conglomeration of random facts, pathways, and embryology all crammed into one course whose notes already fill a 1.5" binder.
This has definitely been a week of answered prayers (I know it's only Monday). It started last night with a trip to the migrant workers' camp where they have a free bi-weekly clinic. It was refreshing to be immersed in the Latin culture again but strange to work in a non-Christian pro-bono clinic. I mean what's the point of preserving a body if you do nothing to help preserve the soul?
While some of my peers were out celebrating a night free of studying hanging out at the bar, I decided to go see what the med. students girls' Bible study was all about, another blessing. I think sometimes we don't realize how much we need daily spiritual strengthening. Ultimately that comes from constantly making an effort to be in God's presence but at the same time, our brothers and sisters in Christ are there to edify and encourage us. What a wonderful feeling it was to sit and pray with my sisters in Christ. I am learning that calling yourself Christian isn't so much about religion, a Sunday social club ritual that gives you another label to wear. Rather, it is about a constant walk in God's footsteps along the path He has laid out for you, realizing that He is the one that directs your steps to the ultimate destination and realizing that it is a matter of blinidly trusting Him in all situations to continue to lead you.

The Heart of the Matter

Sunday Afternoon Drive

So I got to play doctor today right? Actually, it's called Intro to Phys Exam which is a really cool class that utilizes standardized patients to help teach us neophytes the proper way to conduct a physical exam. Today was chest and lung exam day which meant that a local cardiothoracic surgeon (how's that for a cool title?) was present to help us with any questions we might have and explain proper technique, etc. He also was present in lab; it was "dissect the heart" day. Anatomy lab has to be one of the weirdest and most intriguing experiences I've had in my academic career. I mean...if anyone else was doing what we are doing, they'd call them crazy and lock them away. It's almost inevitable that I have to distance myself from my cadaver and try to think of only the academics of what I'm doing; yet at the same time, I don't want to completely forget that he was once a person like me who had feelings, thoughts, emotions, and a family. I suppose that's the dichotomous nature of medicine and the conundrum of physicians worldwide. How do you keep the humanity of your patient in mind without letting that same humanity cloud the academic components of anatomy, pathology, etc. that are essential in the patient's treatment?
Things are starting to settle into place in most areas of my life though I'm still often plagued with the feeling that I've stuck my head in a shirt and am searching for the sleeve holes. Oh well, I'll eventually find my niche. Life's a journey so I guess part of that journey is finding out where is lost and where is where you're supposed to be.
An answered prayer is this coming Sunday's migrant worker clinic at a nearby farm that employs about 250 immigrant workers. I can't wait to get back to serving and to the Latin culture. Life without some regular component of service makes me feel like some type of "social club Sunday potluck dinner" kind of Christian. I'll be helping out translating and maybe helping with some health survey work or presenting health-related skits to those of the community. It'll be like MET, except I'm in rural East Tennessee. I think I'm also going to assist the new Medical Spanish class elective they're having at QCOM Friday afternoons. I'd love it if my peers could learn Spanish too. It's such a needed skill here and seemingly everywhere in the States. Whoever thought I'd get to use my Spanish here?
The last few weeks have been some of the most academically, mentally, and spiritually challenging for me that I've experienced so far in my life. Worth it? Oh yeah. I love it here.

Wondering what that lovely mountain landscape is? It's called part of the AT near Roan Mountain. There are benefits to living 1/2 hour from the Appalachian Mountains, and yes med. students do have time to get out and have fun every once in a while :o)

A is for Anatomy

My version of playing Ultimate Frisbee with all the other MSs (UF Pros): Run alot, act like you know what you're doing, and pray that no one actually throws you the frisbee.
I can't believe I just finished my second week of med school. It flew by and was a lot better than last week. We all got the "big test" over with in Anatomy on Wednesday and everything went really well for me. Too bad it only counts 5% of the total grade. I'm really enjoying that class, even lab. Yeah, I know I'm a nerd. I think I'm more worried about BioStats than anything right now. Did I ever mention how much I don't like math? I just keep telling myself, "three more weeks of it and then I get to do cool stuff in Rogersville with Rural Track."
I think my apartment is going to smell like garlic bread sticks for awhile. While studying Monday night, some of us were complaining about how we don't like to eat by ourselves. The result of that conversation led to a wonderful concoction of baked ziti, bread sticks, glazed carrots, and peach cobbler at my apartment last night. We didn't get as much studying done as we had hoped, but we ate well. Plus, I got to show off my humble abode, very impressive. Actually, with all the interest group meetings, I think I can manage to cut my food budget in half; that or I'm going to have to start working out twice as much.
I really like my class and we're all starting to click now that we realize that we're not going to fail out of med. school and that we can do the work. The one thing I do miss is all my Christian friends. I guess I've been spoiled the past few years with always being surrounded by good Christian examples. Though I've made friends at church here, they don't go to class with me everyday. I guess this will be a test of faith over the next few years since many opportunities to compromise my values and to let my faith become stagnant exist.
Looks like tomorrow will be filled with studying and conquering HDBG. Sunday I'm taking a break after church and going hiking somewhere (yeah I've already convinced a few of the M1s to come with me on my random adventures in the woods). I think the Olympics are on now. Maybe I can watch them, assuming they're on one of the four channels I have (why get cable when I'm never home to watch it?). Ahh. the life of a med. student; I'm looking foward to sleep tonight and no 8am classes tomorrow.

As I sat on the dock of Dr.Shambra's dock, my belly full with homemade burgers and fresh veggies from the garden, watching the sun go down as the sound of a poor imitation of Jimmy Buffet eminated from the local marina pub, I finally felt relaxed for the first time last week. Yes, it was definitely a week of change; I've learned that change always brings growing pains. Saturday, after spending the morning studying, I took a much needed break and strolled around the grounds of the spacious VA park located in front of the COM. The VA used to be a place for the "old soldiers to come and die". Funny how now people such as myself are learning how to make others live. Yet as I study, I realize that in four years I will still be just as helpless when it comes to curing mankind as I am now. I will still be limited by the same imperfections of humanity of those who I am supposed to cure.
It's a futile practice really, the imperfect trying to perfect the imperfect, a real "blind leading the blind" so to speak, but like Christianity that doesn't mean I should give up in pursuit of perfection. Rather, like being a Christian, I should try toward that perfection but realize that it is only God that can ultimately grant that perfection, that "cure". The more I study the human body, the more I admire the perfectly designed complexity, the fine engineering as each part works together with the conjunction of thousands of other parts in perfect union to operate what we call person. I don't understand how anyone could look upon such fine craftmanship and order and say this stemmed from chaos.
The M2s gave us a "practice" practical part of the exam tonight. Let me just say that just as none of us are equal on the outside, neither are none of us equal on the inside. It wasn't bad, and I think I'm well-prepared for any innervations, insertions, motions, etc. that may appear on the test. As each day passes, I get to know my peers better and enjoy this thing they call "med. school" I realize that some of them will never see past the dollar and job of medicine. For the rest, I hope to share with them all that I have been shown through my experiences, the art, beauty, and joy of serving our fellow man.
I leave you with the lyrics to Chris Rice's latest song which I had the privilege to hear for the first time the other day. It has to be one of the best pieces of advice I could give someone:

Carry your candle run to the darkness

Seek out the helpless confused and torn

Hold out your candle for all to see it

Take your candle and go light your world

What It's Really Like

My Home : Stanton Gerber Hall

Well, I can say almost made it through my first week of medical school. No one said med school is easy; they're right. This has to have been one of the longest weeks of my life. Was it really just four days ago that I knew absolutely nothing about the back or cadavers or what it's really like to "go to med school"?
I've studied more this past week then I ever did last semester. My typical day starts around 6:30 in order to be prepared and in my seat at 8am for class. Then it's lunchtime around noon and more class until 3 or 4pm. If I'm lucky I can go home then and spend a few hours eating dinner and working out unless my group and I didn't finish our dissection and have to go back to the lab. Then it's back to the books for a few more hours before I finally call it a night only to get up and do it again.
Someone once told me that part of learning medicine is like learning a language. I think they're right. I mean how often do you hear words like semispinalis capitus and conus medullaris and the dorsal scapular nerve innervates the levator spinae? Yeah, if I could just know what half of what I read meant, I think I'd be doing ok. Netter's atlas pages are permenantly etched on my mind (I hope at least until Wednesday). I think the two key words for me over the next two years are balance and discipline.
It's going to be hard work, but it's not all drudgery. Yesterday I had my first patient. Ok...so he was a standardized patient paid to let us practice vital signs on him, but he was still a patient. In my white coat and all dressed up th my new instruments in hand, I felt like a little girl playing doctor :o). Tomorrow night, my advisor is taking myself and her other advisees out to her house on the lake for dinner.
Tonight I took the time to attend CMDA's (Christian Medical and Dental Association) barbeque. It was nice to spend time with some of the older students and know that it's possible to make it through your first year, and that there are Christian doctors out there. I'm looking foward to a speaker they're having next month, the author of one of my favorite books, Jesus M.D. . I can already tell that it will be a constant struggle to not let the academic side of medicine overwhelm me so that it quenches my spiritual fervor and zeal that led me to this career in the first place. I ask for your prayers on this and for my first test coming up this Wednesday.
Well, I should probably go spend some time with old Mr.Netter. Sometimes I wonder if I can really do this or if I've gotten myself in over my head. Guess I'll find out next Wednesday. Until then...

So They Think I'm a Doctor

Yesterday was a mixture of emotions (good) and marked the end of our week of orientation here at Quillen COM. The day was defined by the White Coat Ceremony. We all marched into the VA Theatre on campus and were seated on stage. The dean and some others then proceeded to speak to us about the significance of the coats we were about to don and the career which we are about to begin. They told us how we would never be viewed the same again. People would being to view us as "doctor" their physician, their healer, their counselor, their confidant. What a wide arrange of shoes I'm going to learn to have to fill. The dean humorously spoke of how of when we went home for Thanksgiving of how our friends, neighbors and family members would suddenly flock to us, as if the three months of training we had received had already added an M.D. to our name. I think my response will be, "Give me another 4 years and then I'll tell you what you have."
After the cloaking, the COM Humanism Scholarship Award winner was announced. As the speaker described the qualities in selecting the recipient, I couldn't help but think how I had learned about many of those qualities through my class on service learning, my experiences with my "patients" in the inner-city clinics, and my time spent abroad in Central America. "Could I possibly be the recipient?" I asked myself, but then reminded myself that I was part of a class of 60 of the best and brightest in the region, all well-qualified and active in changing their world. When the speaker announced that I was indeed the recipient, I nervously stood up and walked to the podium to receive the award. I stared out into the sea of proud parental faces, and my eyes fixated on two beaming countenances, those of my parents as they stood up to be recognized as well. What an honor it was to bring such joy to them; seeing the pride in their face I think was worth more than the small amount of scholarship money that was given along with the nice plaque that now hangs in my study.
The coordinators of the event spared no expense with the reception. Everything from barbequed shrimp to stuffed mushrooms to chicken croissants to delectable cheescake brownies was on the buffet. Too bad this coming week will be devoid of free lunches. Guess I'll have to wait until I have my own practice and am wooed by the drug reps. Tomorrow is the first day of my career. I've spent the entire afternoon printing off this week's notes, and I should probably be reading over those now so I don't get behind (it's not even the first day and I already feel behind). It should be a busy week of trying to drink water from an open fire hydrant, so to speak.